Each person is unique with their own strengths and weaknesses, but what matters most is that you love yourself for who you are, regardless of how you fit society’s mould. This is the message that entrepreneur, business strategist, and body positivity advocate Ranjula Herath is trying to emphasise, both through her body positivity platform Flabulous, as well as by being her most authentic self in all aspects of her life.
Herath’s educational background lies in marketing and management, having previously worked in the education and fashion retail industries. As a child, Herath developed a unique sense of style and a strong sense of self. This combined with a passion for inspiring through positivity, empowerment, and style, led Herath to develop Flabulous.
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Written by : Naveed Rozais
]]>Painted her lips red
Those big hoop earrings that represented her larger than life spirit
Screaming legs for days..
She took pictures of herself and thought
‘Dang you look fine’
She sent her picture to him
Double ticks -seen- but no response
She was waiting for that ‘Babe you hot! message’ but she never got it
She had the time of her life dancing that night with her friends
Next day she waited for that ‘good morning beautiful’ text but all she got was
‘I don’t like this size of you, you don’t look great, you looked better when we got back and now you are not in shape’
She questioned herself, she argued with him
She told him it makes no sense to her or for the love they had
She said it hurts but he said ‘I meant every single word’
She squeezed her belly, she scarped her arm flab to manage the pain in her heart
She cried and died a little more inside
She was never a girl who needed motivation from someone else
Her soul was fire, her drive - impeccable
She gave him his heart and he tore her apart
He didn’t have any trouble falling asleep knowing she is upset
He didn’t want to comfort her either
She wondered why he loved her only on specific days and specific times..
She cried all night, she was panting
Her heart beat raised, her fingers went numb
She took the deepest breath and held it
He made her believe that it's her fault! Her fault fot not being his physical fantasy
.
.
.
Next day she woke up, she knew that no one can define beauty but herself
She didn’t skip her breakfast either
She put on her red lipstick, she put on her red dress
Stared at the mirror, took a deep breath and whispered to herself,
'You are Fire!'
]]>Apologizing for your body, your strengths, your knowledge or your talent, is saying that your own existence is a mistake. You won’t hear an actress saying, “I’m so sorry I landed this role through my own talent”, you don’t hear a marathon-winning athlete saying, “Oh gosh, I’m sorry, I wish I didn’t win today”. So WHY are you apologizing for living life the way you want to live it?
What you choose to eat, the fitness goals you aspire towards, the career you excel in, are all a part of what makes you unique. In a world full of negativity, it’s easy to second guess yourself. Give yourself a break, teach yourself resilience, have a nap. Then wake up and grab life by the balls. Time doesn’t stop for anyone; do you want to spend your life apologizing to total strangers for being yourself? Self-confidence will give you the biggest glow-up known to humankind. Raise your head up and say it together now, #IoweNOapology!
]]>I practice a way of life. Integrative Medicine I like to call it. It’s a more Holistic approach to looking at the Human Body and Disease. I treat all Chronic Diseases with Nutrition, Juicing and Detoxification of the Body. You fall sick for three reasons either you are Nutritionally Deficient, you have a toxic overload or it’s your mind. Either way the food you put into your body plays a huge role. My main area is The Mind. You get what you believe in. I teach people to take responsibility for their Life and Health and do what’s right. You are always your best Doctor.
It’s a handful that look at their body and health and think of beauty. So many girls bring a magazine and ask if it’s possible for them to look that way. There are many patients that had to go through vigorous detoxification programs due to all the tablets and supplements ingested for fairness, slimming etc. It’s sad to see all these beautiful women walking through my doors believing that they need to do a lot more to be beautiful.
We all have a body type. Either we are the Carb, Protein or Starch type. It’s important to know what you are and then just take precautions. Starch is just something we need for energy. So if you do a desk job from 8 to 5 that means you can go with a minimum amount of starch a day. As long as you eat Healthy and you are happily doing whatever you are doing that is all that is important.
We need to be physically, emotionally and mentally fit. Physical fitness is all people seem to be believing in and looking for. Its actually quite simple. You eat right and you walk alittle that helps in your physical fitness. It’s the mental and emotional side that actually needs work. We need to be more mindful and live in the Present, be grateful and not take things to heart. That alone is a lot of work.
People seem to think that 120/80 is the correct blood pressure, 100 is the normal range for sugar and below 200 is the normal rate for cholesterol. Everyone seems to forget that no two humans are the same. Not even twins have the same fingerprint. If we are so different how can we categorize people and say, what’s right for one should be right for all?
There is a saying that, ‘you can’t make everyone around happy unless you are selling Ice Cream’. Why do we even bother with what people have to say?
There is no correct size.
If a girl has a hormonal imbalance or an issue with her thyroid gland then there will be a fluctuation in weight. Sometimes people take quite a bit of steroids that cause weight gain that is next to impossible to lose. Those are cases for me to fix. But even in those situations you should love yourself. It is the energy we carry within that we portray out. Weight shouldn’t be a measurement on how valuable human life and self-love is. Confidence in ourselves should never change with a change in a weighing scale or color scheme.
It’s actually quite petty.
People either don’t eat at all, they eat very less or they eat the wrong food. Eating disorders used to be Anorexia, Bulimia and so on. But now I also need to add Binge eating, the hoax of having to eat 5-6 meals per day, overdoing meat and fat, excessive amounts of supplements, powdered versions of liquid meals, overcooked meals, refrigerated food etc.
Most of the items listed above are actually dead food. It doesn’t nourish your body. When you don’t receive the right nourishment your organs, blood and tissues are deoxygenated one by one. Our blood carries no value to our body. This leads to illnesses. When there is less oxygen in the blood it also passes to our brain. When we are malnourished and toxic, we mentally carry low energy as well.
The answer to all this is, you eat when you are hungry because that’s your body clock. Drink your water, get 15 minutes of sunlight a day, walk 30 minutes, have a well-balanced social life, sleep 8 hours every night and keep smiling.
First of all, please don’t correlate your body image to your confidence. You don’t have to lose or gain weight to be beautiful. It comes from within. Love yourself no matter what. Be proud of who you are and what you have achieved so far. Love the journey and don’t always look to a destination. Live in the moment and be grateful that you are alive and kicking. There are many who would love to live the life you are living right now.
You can contact me on my Facebook or Instagram pages, Dr Natalie Cooke.
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Ah, the witty tones of workplace bullying. At a place where everyone has an opinion about everything, it would be tough to get through your career without being subjected to some sort of judgement. If you get called in for an interview, however much confidence you have in your experience and capabilities, you would still want to dress to impress, because first impressions matter. If you look younger than you are, people automatically tend to think you’re incapable or that you lack leadership and the ability to command a room. If you’re closer to 6ft and wear heels to boot, you’re more of an intimidating boss lady who’s bound to be difficult to handle.
Some workplaces also try to control your sense of style. While you probably shouldn’t walk into your corporate office like you work at Hooters, being in charge of your own dress code shouldn’t be too much to ask. Oh, for the day when employees are judged on their capabilities and not on what they eat, how much they eat, how they dress or how much they weigh…
If you’re dressed appropriately for your workplace and your job role, if you’re confident enough, then don’t let anyone else dictate how you should look. If you think you should step up your wardrobe game, then go for it! Try new things, get that bold new haircut (don’t wait till you get paid, lose weight, have a holiday planned etc.), just be the best version of yourself every single day. Let your actions speak for what you are capable of. Even if there will always be people who judge from the surface, know that there is so much more to you than they’ll ever know.
Since most of us spend almost 80% of our lives at work, don’t be afraid to brighten up your 9-5 (7-7 or 24/7, if you’re hustling super hard). Go out their and kick ass, whether in heels or Converse, let that be up to you, not anyone else.
]]>How many of us have this thought process before much awaited travel plans? Almost all of us! In Sri Lanka, most of us love to be in our best shape in December, ready for for all the beach days, parties and NYE. Staying this way through Christmas is a huge battle cause who can say no to all that food?
If you live in a country that experiences the four main seasons, your body is put through so much just to fit in throughout the year. There’s a reason why some of us love Winter so much. It’s that much easier to hide that extra weight underneath jumpers and jackets. Come Summer though, we sit and regret all the mashed potatoes and mac n cheese we consumed cause how do we get that Summer body now?!
Why do we think our bodies need to change according to different seasons? Or when we need to go on vacation? Why is our daily-life, stay-at-home body just not good enough? Hop online and you see the ‘ideal women’ lounging in the sun, sipping a few cocktails, faces held up to bask in that golden glow; perfect outfit, perfect makeup, manicured fingernails in that perfect shade of Paradise. Know how to recognize this for what it is; an advertisement. You don’t need to be that woman to go on vacation, or to hit the beach with your friends, or to buy a new swimsuit. You just need to be you. The everyday you, because that’s the you that worked so hard to treat yourself to this holiday, that’s the you that cooked delicious meals and entertained everyone during cold Winter nights, that’s the you that deserves everything, simply for being strong, resilient and absolutely beautiful.
Summer body, Bali body, Post-Avurudu body, STOP! Your body is not just for a season, it’s for life. Love it, embrace it, be proud of it.
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I love myself the way I am, with my virtues and my defects, my potential qualities and those that I’m still trying to improve. I love myself— so it’s implied that I love my whole body, just how it is and everything I can do with. I love myself— the things I perceive, hear, feel, taste and smell. I also love my mind, all of the thoughts and feelings that it generates. I love myself, and therefore I know that within me I have all of the resources and tools I need to survive. I just have to discover them beyond my barriers, and if I can’t find them, I’ll learn them.
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Ever since I could remember, according to everyone else, being "fat" was my problem. Receiving compliments always seemed to come with a good figurative bash to my confidence.
They'd say things like, "You look good in that dress, It makes you look thin!" or "You've got beautiful features, just lose some weight and you'd be perfect."
But why couldn't a complement just be what it was meant to be instead of being an opportunity for others to tell me to change or "fix" myself? As a 'big' girl I'm sure other queen's like myself go through issues like this on a day to day basis.
Being constantly told that I'm not enough for myself, not enough for most around me and not enough to fit into a silly little box that society created to define "beauty".
All this ruthless criticism just because I’m just different from others? Now this is the type of attitude that should be labelled as unacceptable.
One of my favourite authors, J. K. Rowling once said,
"Is fat really the worst thing a human being can be? Is fat worse than vindictive, jealous, shallow, vain, boring, evil, or cruel? Not to me."
What she said honestly makes too much sense to ignore. We have to see past these type of narrow minded opinions and believe that the best opinion about myself should be my own. Because that's the only one that really matters. With all the pain and hatred in the world, I will not add to it by putting myself down and convincing myself to believe what society wants me to believe.
Honestly though? I'm perfectly amazing just the way I am. No one has the power to make me feel differently unless I give them that power. So I definitely won't be doing that any more.
I am fat; yes, and that is beautiful. Sure I've got flaws but so does everyone else on the planet. My weight doesn't dull my beautiful features; no, they actually enhance them. I am curvy and full and have the 'assets' that tons of thin girls want. I. Am. Perfectly. Enough.
Be confident in yourself and flaunt those curves. Make it obvious to the haters that their negative opinions don't interest you and won't bring you down. Speak your truth.
"I'm a big girl with a big heart and I am perfectly amazing just the way I am".
]]>You constantly ask yourself why this person is with you, overlooking all the other great things about yourself. You wonder if they have a fetish for big girls, or if this is all a big joke and they’ll turn around one day and laugh in your face for ever imagining it was real. This isn’t helped by how everyone keeps telling you that you’re so lucky to have found a partner who’s ok with dating a fat girl.
]]>What does finding love mean for a girl who’s insecure about her weight, for her who has been told repeatedly by her well-meaning aunts, that if she doesn’t lose a bit of weight, she’s never going to find herself a husband? Finding love is a difficult as it is, but even more so for those who don’t conform to society’s beauty standards.
Ever seen a hot guy walking hand in hand with a girl who’s bigger than average? Takes only a split second for you to think, “How did SHE get HIM?” If you’re single everyone thinks it’s because you’re fat (never mind the fact that you have chosen the single life cause #independentwoman for life). Of course, if your SO is also fat, then everyone’s happy because “Aww two fat people found love with each other”.
What’s not funny though, is the crippling sense of inferiority, the mistrust and the insecurity you feel both when you’re single and even when you’re in a relationship with a genuinely nice person. You constantly ask yourself why this person is with you, overlooking all the other great things about yourself. You wonder if they have a fetish for big girls, or if this is all a big joke and they’ll turn around one day and laugh in your face for ever imagining it was real. This isn’t helped by how everyone keeps telling you that you’re so lucky to have found a partner who’s ok with dating a fat girl.
Next time someone tries to give you unsolicited advice about your weight and its direct correlation to finding yourself a partner, kill them with your confidence. Know that you are so much more than your physical appearance, focus on the amazing things about yourself, know your self-worth and never bow down to anyone who tells you otherwise. Know that you have the power to dictate what goes on in your life. Just like there’s no right gender or right sexual orientation, there is no right size for love, only the right person.
]]>The world is built on insecurities. Companies and their marketing departments thrive on this. They love to tell people, specially women, how they should dress, what they should eat, what car they should drive and most importantly, how they should look. Ever heard someone say, “Oh you’ve put on but you’re still really pretty” or “She’s a bit chubby but she has a beautiful face”? Why do we, as a society put so much weight (pun intended) on to the way a woman looks? It’s because we are being told day in and day out that thin equals beautiful and fat equals taboo. “Shhh, don’t call her fat, just say chubby”. As if ‘fat’ is a swear word too ugly to be said out loud in polite society.
Ever had a moment when your achievements, your personality, your kind nature, were all overshadowed by your weight? Were you ever excited about graduating but all anyone could talk about was how it might be great if you lost a bit of weight before the ceremony so your saree could drape better?
Curves are great as long as they’re in the right places and aren’t too pronounced. A dress split to the navel is sexy as long as your boobs don’t fill out the front and make it obscene. God forbid if you lift up your arms and a bit of your stomach fat shows. Would’ve been much better if your top reached your knees.
We are so conditioned to treat ‘Fat’ as a disgusting quality that you should be ashamed of rather than a descriptive noun. We have given it so much power over us that just uttering the word makes people cringe. It’s a long way to changing society’s perspectives, but at least as a start, stop being so afraid. Take control and build your own meaning to life. Do not let anyone tell you what you should fear, YOU define what FAT means to you. Shake that booty, love those curves, kiss the fear goodbye and let Queen Flabulous take over!
By Samurdha Jayasinghe
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Today I kick start a platform for positive content.
What is true body positivity? To love every inch of you. Your flaws and all your imperfections. Most of all to be healthy. To move, to dance, to eat right, to be bold, daring, stylish and to feel empowered. So here I am, sharing a message to be nothing but confident in your own skin through confidence, positive support and style.
The struggle to love yourself is an everyday story and let's speak about it openly because there is a teenager flipping through instagram trying to follow a trend. She cries her self to sleep. She skips meals and often googles how to loose 10kgs in 10days. She doesn't want to walk into her tuition class because last time she did, everyone laughed at her and asked everyone to back up because she was known as 'the lorry'. You don't want them to be victims of their own lives. Here's to more change in the way we conquer our bodies, our minds, our beautiful souls irrespective of our age, size, colour, background. Be yourself unapologetically. Everyday. And together, we can be the change.
#bethechange #flabulous #bodypositive #bodyimage #srilanka#beautybeyondsize #embraceyourself #queenflabulous #plussizefashion#confidence